Nobody Will Tell You This But Me

December 16, 2019
Jimmy Kimmel Live! writer Kalb honors her late grandmother, Bobby Bell, in an amusing debut memoir written in the grandmother’s sassy voice. The book, framed as a love letter to Kalb and featuring excerpts from grandma’s funny voice mails and phone calls, contains intriguing family stories about Kalb’s great-grandmother, who, at 12, emigrated to New York from Belarus, alone, to escape Jewish persecution; about Bobby’s marriage to Kalb’s grandfather, a scrappy businessman who got rich building houses; and about Bobby’s contentious relationship with Kalb’s fiercely independent mother. Kalb does a great job of capturing the voice of an opinionated, chronically concerned grandmother who’s convinced that she knows best. Bobby shares her thoughts on everything from Kalb’s choice of pets (“we are not cat people”) to her decision to live in San Francisco (“San Francisco is for people who wear polar fleece to restaurants and try to convince each other to go camping”). The book spans Bobby’s life and beyond (there are cheeky sections written from beyond the grave) and offers both wisdom and unsolicited advice (“you’d be gorgeous if you went a little blonder”). This is a fun, touching tribute to family, and the perfect book for anyone who treasures their domineering, spirited grandmother.

January 1, 2020
A Jewish "matrilineal love story" uniquely narrated by a voice from beyond the grave. TV writer Kalb employs an unconventional yet highly effective and charming narrative device, channeling the voice and personality of her now-deceased grandmother Bobby Bell. Outspoken and persnickety, Bobby snares readers' attention right from her first comments about how "degrading" and boring being dead actually is and how "the worst part was the dirt." Drawn from both a generous selection of family images and a text very much grounded in the family's Jewish heritage, the narrative skillfully captures Bobby's wit, worldly advice, well-intentioned meddling, and enduring love for her granddaughter. Bobby describes her mother as an "enormous Russian immigrant in a falling-down house" who arrived in Brooklyn speaking no English. Bobby also comments on her near-fatal bout with meningitis, her marriage to the author's grandfather, and her lifelong friendship with Estelle, her sorority sister and fellow Jewish Brooklynite. Kalb sharply reimagines her grandmother's inner thoughts and feelings as she regales readers with anecdotes about her life and remembers her biting yet fiercely nurturing criticism of the author's choices in men ("is he Jewish?"), her appearance ("you'd be gorgeous if you went a little blonder"), and her relocation to the West Coast ("no serious person moves to San Francisco"). The true heart and soul of their relationship is reflected in the frequent phone exchanges between grandmother and granddaughter, most of which are hysterical. Readers familiar with the Bobby in their own families will appreciate how well Kalb embodies the classic stereotypes of stoic overprotectiveness and frequent exasperation that come with being a parent and grandparent. As the book progresses, the story becomes both sad and poignant as age and illness catch up to Bobby, and though she pokes fun at her situation, the photos and the imagined conversations make for sometimes-heartbreaking reading. Through interviews with her mother and grandfather, voicemails, and nostalgic memorabilia, Kalb commemorates her beloved grandmother, honoring her legacy and inimitable character. An endearing, bittersweet, and entertainingly fresh take on the family memoir.

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Starred review from March 1, 2020

Kalb (Jimmy Kimmel Live!) channels the voice of her recently deceased grandmother Bobby Bell to share the multigenerational story of women in her family. Narrated from Bobby's perspective, this "representation of a life" begins with Bobby's mother's immigration from Russia to America and concludes with Kalb's writing of the book. Kalb deftly captures her grandmother's fierce, loving, and particular personality with the aid of saved voicemails, family photos, and stories of the strong-minded women in their family. Bobby explained that she treated Kalb as an equal so that they'd be friends, and the relationship between the two was admirably strong. Especially charming is Bobby's advice, often unsolicited and always honest, about Kalb's well-being. As Bobby's death inevitably arrives, Kalb's grief is gracefully expressed through imagined conversations and observations. VERDICT Striking a perfect balance between levity and poignancy, this is a standout debut. Readers looking for memoirs featuring strong family relationships with much love and laughter will be highly satisfied.--Anitra Gates, Erie Cty. P.L., PA

Copyright 2020 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

Starred review from March 15, 2020
TV writer Kalb's first book is voiced from the perspective of her late maternal grandmother, Bobby. Speaking to the author, whom she calls Bessie, Bobby shares what Kalb's author's note calls "a matrilineal love story, drawn from her life, and dedicated to her memory." Readers will grasp Kalb's artful and imaginative conceit easily, and appreciate it, because with Kalb operating the spotlight, Bobby is the charming, hilarious, and ever-quotable star of her own one-woman show. In conversation with Bessie and thus all of us, Bobby introduces her mother, who paid for her own terrifying journey from Russia to the U.S. as a child; recalls the challenges of having her own daughter; and the joys of becoming grandmother and best friend to Bessie. She can even explain her death, and what comes after. Kalb interrupts and augments Bobby's narrative with family photographs and transcripts of her and Bobby's conversations, phone calls, and voice mail messages. Mixing in day-to-day practicalities, crystalline deliveries of amazing family tales, and oft-repeated lines, Kalb-as-Bobby crafts an uncanny rendering of two whole, wholly connected women and their unshakable bond. This is a monumental act of attention, love, and memory, and readers will almost certainly be affected by it.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2020, American Library Association.)