License to Parent

May 3, 2021
Christina and Ryan Hillsberg, married former CIA spies, turn their espionage training into helpful parenting advice in this one-of-a-kind guide on raising self-sufficient kids. Their focus is on empowering children with real-world skills and countering helicopter parenting: “I didn’t want to parent from a place of fear,” Christina writes, but “from a place of knowledge and strength.” The lessons that follow cover skills often left off parenting checklists, as the authors encourage teaching children how to read a map, tout the importance of learning to understand one’s body’s limits, and cover how to visualize success. Some of the Hillsberg family’s plans can strike as far-fetched (they keep a box stocked with such items as cigarettes that might come in handy for trading in case a cash economy crumbles), but Christina is an accomplished storyteller, combining examples from her life with insightful parenting tips (she describes the role-play used in her training at the CIA’s covert training center, and encourages parents to use the technique with children, for example). At times the guide reads like a thriller, as when their daughters suspect they’re being tailed on their way home, but things never get gimmicky. Insightful and entertaining, this is a winning spin on the usual parenting fare. Agent: Howard Yoon, Ross Yoon Agency.

May 1, 2021

Hillsberg and her spouse first met when they were CIA agents. Later, after Hillsberg gave birth to the couple's child, she returned to work, then surprised herself two months later by deciding to stay at home with her child full-time. She was taken aback to discover how much of what she had learned as a CIA agent also applied to her parenting journey, including learning to thrive in extreme circumstances; spotting and surviving danger; negotiating and finding common ground; communicating effectively; and conducting research. VERDICT With tips for staying safe online, living by one's principles, and finding a healthy balance with risk, this is a fascinating and useful take on parenting.

Copyright 2021 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

May 1, 2021
A guide to parenting from two former CIA agents. Based on their years of experience with the CIA, the Hillsbergs share their advice on parenting. Told primarily from Christina's perspective, the narrative begins with an overview of their careers. During the early stage of their relationship, Christina was intrigued by Ryan's parenting style, noting that his three children from a previous marriage seemed mature for their ages. "More than anything," she writes, "Ryan sought to instill in his kids a spirit of adventure and knowledge of the world." Initially apprehensive about his teaching them skills that she felt were advanced--e.g., how to use a knife or drive a motorcycle--she soon got onboard, and they began applying these same principles to the children they had together. Interweaving interesting anecdotes from their professional careers as well as applicable examples involving their children, the Hillsbergs share their key principles of raising children to become strong, safe, and independent adults. Among the skills they examine are security awareness, communication strategies, and financial responsibility. As the authors explain, children are more capable of doing things on their own than many parents believe. Unfortunately, in this era of helicopter parenting, children have often "failed to launch." In addition to teaching children basic survival skills, exposing them to various cultures and perspectives, and offering opportunities for them to develop their own personal hobbies and interests, the Hillsbergs discuss the importance of building trust with your children, the benefits of allowing them to fail, and knowing when striving for perfection can be detrimental. As Voltaire said, and the authors echo, "perfection is the enemy of good." By sharing their story, they hope readers will be able to use these techniques to shape their own children into security-conscious, confident, and well-rounded adults--while also giving parents a little peace of mind and reduction in anxiety. A fresh and fascinating perspective on child-rearing.

COPYRIGHT(2021) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

May 1, 2021
As a young CIA agent, Christina Hillsberg didn't have marriage and children on her radar. Then she met Ryan, a fellow CIA agent and legitimately James Bond-like spy. When Christina soon after became step-mom to Ryan's three young children and later added two children of her own, she learned Ryan had a very unique way of parenting, exposing his children to situations and opportunities--using knives, riding motorcycles--much earlier than most parents. Christina came to understand and embrace Ryan's parenting philosophy and saw how their children were growing into confident young adults, prepared for any situation. This joint memoir and parenting guide shares how the authors' years working for the CIA informed their child-rearing style. Their CIA training, the authors found, applies to much-needed skills for today's kids: how to spot and avoid danger, effective communication, vetting information, staying safe in an online world. This antidote to helicopter-parenting culture encourages parents to let their kids have authentic experiences of success and failure, preparing children for real life while enjoying the adventure along the way.

COPYRIGHT(2021) Booklist, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.