Letting Go

June 30, 1997
Coburn, the associate dean of students at Washington University, and Treeger, a psychotherapist and former counselor for the school, include timely cultural references and lots of talk about e-mail in the third edition of their book. But when it comes to hard problems, like bulimia or depression, they offer little authoritative advice. Instead, they focus on the wide range of college experiences, clarifying just how stressful and complex a college student's life can be--a fact often unappreciated by parents forgetful of their own first tormented love, first failed exam or first irritating roommate. The authors accordingly advise parents to provide support to students confronting so many new forces all at once. Most of letting go boils down to trust, but the authors' depiction of campus life--frat parties, co-ed dorms, etc.--may make that a tall order for some. The book's target audience is parents whose children are moving away to a four-year institution, but the description of early-adulthood struggles may also make this a handy guide for the college freshman, who can take comfort in realizing that his or her path to independence is well-trod.